Tuesday, 11 October 2016

I want But....


​I want You to wear sexy clothes
but 
I don't want people to look at you badly

​I don't have problem with your Alhohol
But
You should take it light & be with me

I want you to explore life & do adventure
You go to places and know the world
But
I also want you to do these being with me

I want you to abuse me when you want
But 
I don't want you to get hurt after that

I want you to follow your dreams
but 
I don't want separation

I don't have any problem when you hangout with friends late nigh
But
Your past & breaching really makes me afraid

I want you to not to hate anyone & talk to everyone you want or like to talk
But
I don't want you to be more generous who's advantage people will take

I don't want to rule on you & dictate anything
But 
I do coz I know when you are wrong, you need guidance; but that is love!

I want you to love my family & care about them
But
It doesn't mean it's compulsion; it will be your wish

I want you to love me unconditionally
But
How can I not justify the same for you...

I want you to be you
But
I also want you to grow & be better

I want you as you are
But 
I also want you to be the way You want to be...



All I want but I don't want, is illusion, nothing else.
But 
I am sure that I want "your Happiness"...nothing else..!!!



With Best Regards-

Awanish Shukla
Kuwait City, Kuwait
Mob: +965-98766711

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

A Trip to remember -- Goa!! Part-1/2

A journey to break the rules or to stay up with the ideology! A journey to understand what I need and what exactly is called the luxuries!

And here on forth the trip to GOA starts.

I am writing this writing on the very first night and start of travel being in THE AIR...air India it is! I am noway less excited than people who pray for a baby for years and the day comes when the lady gives birth to a new human body! In a way this journey is similar, we lived a trip to GOA in dreams always, when I go long back I have heard about Goa from family friends who either went on abmuja cement's dealer's free trip or in college time when some rahisjaade had succeeded to make the middle-class sons and daughters jealous. Although in my part of world girls were almost restricted to travel for Goa with their friends who have done mistakes of being male from birth. In post graduate time what I believe was it was sometimes money and many a times tight schedule and pressure of career building never allowed to fulfil ever dream Goa trip. I swear this is the trip which was tempted by Bollywood in such a way that when 3 friends will sit and plan, they will end up with dil chahta hai song, a car trip and beaches of Goa with best of the buddies.

although this much anxiousness and wish to visit "the place" was always on peak and never faded but to realize this short of dream some day ago when Navlok said that- 'yaar tumhare sath kabhi Goa Jana hai!' it touched somewhere with yield of wish to make this happen soon. And within one or two day all necessaries tickets and plans started rolling in our Whatsapp conversations, we gradually booked airways tickets. In this era when time is important and it's an investment in many sense, I prefer to travel through means and ways which saves time, likes airlines over railways and direct connectivity over the layover flights. I am not denying on the pleasure of Indian railways journey but time comes when you find another pleasure of business class lounge and first class flight travels. Discussion on hotel and places of visit in Goa was a concern. We have proved in a way that we are smarter in this social media era where power of internet is not ignorable. Nowadays websites like "travel triangle" and "trip advisor" are providing quotations for your selected locations. Although we were sure that we are going to explore on our own but what's bad in taking quotations and making ourselves more clear and clever selections.

This has not ended here, I asked to my friends who visited Goa recently and also suggestions were asked from friend cum business partner Joseph M. He sent a mail with list of places, beaches and more importantly discos-pubs-casino-bars. More importantly my attention went to the trailing mail to the same which was sent by a lady. Navlok and me were sharing the links though mail for the places we can visit. It was all together different experience for a person like me who always went on trips without plan, spontaneously taking divisions was became hobby and i was living the same. But since this trip was altogether a dream trip of young generation which was being fulfilled even after crossing silver jubilee of life age, this should have been much more important than any random trip.
You would be surprised if reading that searching hotels in Goa was not just tempting but also dreamful and sometimes seductive too. Most of the beach fronted five star hotel offers lovely honeymoon packages with yatch and lovely facilities. But only men trip tries to drag us from selecting five star to three star or apartments with affordable rates, still we managed to book the vivanta by Taj holiday village hotel. Excitement more increased to feel the luxury onwards. I have been stayed to five stars quiet some times but never opted to check-in officially in Facebook n Instagram. Nowadays I do not know why people boats about their personal life high standards to FB or insta! Like every flight check-in at airport happens prior to board in, like omg yes I paid freakishly chqrged ticket so now I am eligible to have this on my wall. It's all about people's choice, and why I am saying this, I am never less in these activities, but yes these thoughts do come and crunch my mind many of the times that why my personal life is much socialised! Why people should know where am I or what am I doing!! But suddenly this disappears like shallow root trees floats with flood soon, also I can not deny the attraction and power of social media!

now the main task was rest, yes "The people".

My friends whom I want in this trip, Navlok was ready, to prepare Rahul for trip was not easy since he is job seeker nowadays, sometimes it's like his time is important and sometimes when he doesn't have interviewes etc it's like he is all free for us to join in trip. He must be excited enough and yes he does shared in Whatsapp also that he is more excited coz it's his first air travel, some emotional too starting with Air INDIA. Finally we three booked, Rahul, Navlok and Awanish! Main task in my head was convincing the topper friend (Manas) agreeing for the trip. I stayed with Manas for four important years of engineering life is same room being room-met, he is balanced guy with amazing mind, nowadays this topper is pursuing PhD from his IIT madras, it means he must have reached another level again. I always have problem with toppers coz they think much for their decision, I know I must not have problem in this as it's their personal choice, but still who am I than another common man who comments on personal choices of people where no strings are connected to step in even. I respect Manas for hell lot of reasons and I was always aware that he is special god gifted child, I can say this with the base of my four years with him. That's why I told it was not easy for me fit strategy in better way to make him available for the trip. Indeed it was enjoyable too as I was enjoying the process. A Whatsapp group was made and named as Goa 8-12 Sept! Here I am not revealing how I convinced Manas and how strategy worked! But important is to say and accept that he is coming being ill/sick too. His sickness is something that too I can not disclose here. Important is now it's we four people and Goa plan is ready.


The group which I refer will miss three more people, Manchi is in Australia so he can't come, Aditya was really expected to join us but he is manager for product launch on same dates in TCS Gandhinagar, Mr. Dhanaji is preparing for civil services and he is such dedicated individual who rarely see his phone nowadays (some praise this but I call it madness). This trip will miss these three if not much but still enough to recall them at beach side or at late night dinners with much awaited booze parties.

Organization which I worked, schools and colleges where I studied, always it was the same case that they declare holidays just one day before holiday starts; in the hope that less people will go on long holidays or I never understood their logic in it. Happened many times and now I feel that bad luck is the word dictionary selected for me! Eid holidays shifted and days on which would be traveling to Goa are working days now! It was like saying- FUCK!!!!! That too loudly in office corridor! People who takes much leaves like me and every month or another month they will stand in front of projects director for leave; I could understood the feeling of the sanctioning authorities! But I would say god grace that they didn't stop my visit! Leave approved!!! When I get signatures on leave form (although unpaid) I feel like winning something, then indeed I understand that I have good convincing power which is also the need of the hour for roles and responsibilities which I deal for the organization. This hereby another hurdle down and excitement on peak with online check-in.


And here when journey started, I felt that yes it's air India, three times gates changed, from 2 to 20 then afterwards 27; I realised it coz all these gates were at different ways! A big mess, 200 people running her to there for Gate change. And when I am sitting comfortably and writing all this, I can not forget the Dilemma!!!  During dining time in aircraft suddenly the beautiful air-hostess asks the choice of drink? With all yes-Nooo--yesss---Noooooo!!! Areyyyy Yesssssssss--- Nopeeee!!! Tongue pronounced- Not here! She- pardon! Me- soft drink please! Meanwhile analyzing, oh god is it like only me not taking choices of alcoholic beverages. Neetika I recalled you and missed you alot to ask for the choices in the selection, may be that's why perhaps my choice became Coca-Cola finally!!


The destination, the new place, or a memorable or ordinary here how can I say, but a trip with lovely friends awaiting, and I am full of curiosity to feel the moments and store them in minds and hearts for long.

Here Now you wait for another writing...may be when The trip is over...

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Loneliness....

Lonely is not

Being Alone...

It's the

Feeling that-

No one Cares...!!

Ready to give...?

If you give,

and you give,
and 

You give without ever asking anything in return!!

You have to remember,
It's not your greatness! 
But
It is the reflection that-

other person is so great that 

"you are ready to give"







Khudgarj aur Farz...!!

Rishton ke makadjal me pad gya hu galib,

pahle khud ki sochta tha to
Khudgarj kehlaya,

es ashiqki ne
need me bhi farz yad dilaya..!!

Ek beraham se Ishq kya kar liya hamne,
dawat maut ko kya denge,
maut ko zinda hi gale lagaya!


Monday, 1 February 2016

Imaginary boundaries...

Premises of limited thoughts,
country; patriotism..
and even religion...
slave we are...?
of our own thoughts...or
forced thought culture..!

This is yours;
this is mine...
you live here...
I live there...or vise-versa.

Who taught us..
parents-Teachers-History??
Who created history- you/we/us..??


Visa, Passport or Residency;
boundaries of so called decency,
our fights, killings and War,
Aren't they thought humanity.

our imaginary boundaries or what??

Sunday, 31 January 2016

Fourth Stage...Few more days to go....Life

I can only see outside,
the Beautiful,
Adorable world...!!
Lovely people..

and Nature...outside my window,
trees, roads and walking people,

participate I can not;
I am the Audience..
The spectator...!!
Can not participate;
But can say...
my sadness is-
Lesser than yours..
I am physically ill;
people are mentally I guess...!!

They say this disease don't have
Medicine..
some say my bad
luck..!!


they come and show their sadness,
its my badluck that I have these weak people..

nowadays people come and meet me more,
more than ever anyone came and met...!

Again I see,
lovely nature outside my window,
it's fourth stage,
Bones shaking,
but..

I like to say...I am breathing happily,
recalling past...my experiences and
experiments with
Life..!!

This is Lovely but Lonely world,
Love...Live and Share..
let me live my own world of thoughts!!


Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Someday I want....

Someday.......!!!

Someday I wanna disappear and wanna see..
how many people actually miss me,

someday i wanna die for One day to see,
who cry most for my loss,,

Someday I wanna leave everything every headache and wanna roam whole world,

someday I wanna give me rest,
rest from all the thoughts....

someday i wanna live for me.....
someday....

someday I want my love to come back and see...
how much m missing her,

someday i want to cry lot and
figure out what I want from life,

someday I want my love 
to love me more than I love her.....


someday I wanna laugh out loud for my mistakes 
& wanna say yes I did it coz I did not want...

someday I want to Live for me....
someday I want this heart to listen to me...


someday I want....Not some....i want alot...!! someday!!

कार एक्सीडेंट….

 पीछे से आती मारुती बलेनो कार ने जोर की टक्कर मारी। #RealLifeStories शहरों में सिग्नल पर इंतज़ार करती गाड़ियां बंपर से बंपर के बीच कोई फांसल...